Headed to Cleveland with Tim and my sister, Lisa.

If my cancer journey so far could be explained via film, it would be video footage of a middle school track meet hurdles race with everyone in the crowd audibly sympathizing with the last place hurdler as she kicks each hurdle…eventually falling, getting back up, falling again and reaching the finish line with bloody knees and on the verge of tears.

If you’ll note my last blog entry, towards the beginning of my treatment, I likened the diagnosis of cancer to the opportunity of exercising my faith like an Olympic athlete trains to compete. I will say, this has been quite the opportunity to exercise my faith as I have suffered much. I know the feeling of defeat and cried many tears over the last two months.

The discovery of a mass in my abdomen came with much pain and then, when parts of my body shut down, it caused increased pain. However, as treatment began, I began to find relief because the mass began to shrink. I always pray every day for complete healing, and I could feel healing happening in my body as symptom after symptom began to disappear. What an opportunity to witness the healing hand of Jesus!

Cancer treatments, however, are a beast all their own. Everybody who has received these treatments has a unique story, but my body faltered under the load of treatments given to me. I ended up in the hospital twice because of my body’s reaction to radiation and chemo for a total of 20 days. In those days, I was a friend of suffering, I ran fevers, experienced pain from radiation burns unlike any other pain I’ve ever endured, and prayed and prayed and prayed for healing. Many times during my stay, I lay in a pool of sweat, begging God for mercy and healing, wondering how long I needed to suffer.

Jesus brought healing, in his time, but being “patient in affliction” is a true test of faith.

I’ve never been so thankful for Luke 22:42 when Jesus is praying on the Mount of Olives and he asks God to remove this “cup” or this suffering from him. Jesus’ suffering was deeper and of a very different nature than the suffering I endured during those long nights and dragging days in the hospital, but I appreciate his honesty. And I can relate. I prayed those words to God, asking for his mercy and that if it was his will, he would allow me to skip the suffering!

He did eventually answer in a pretty miraculous way (my numbers turned around in a way the doctors hadn’t ever seen before) but that was after 13 days of fevers and pain. In those days, he ministered to me in various ways, for which I am thankful. They were not in vain, but I am glad those days are behind me.

I’ve been out of the hospital now for 14 days, and I am growing stronger as I repeat mundane tasks like showering and bending over to slip on my socks. My sister traveled halfway around the globe to nurse me back to health and it’s working! I will be forever grateful for her family’s sacrifice to send her here to care for me instead of them for some 3 1/2 weeks. What an honor to be served so well.

I am now finished with the first phase of treatment- radiation and chemo. This treatment phase was the doctor’s attempt to stop the fast-growing mass they discovered. They couldn’t diagnose it, they just knew they needed to stop it. They threw heavy treatment at it in this first phase which is why my body crashed and burned. I’m ready to close that chapter!

The next phase will be heavier doses of chemo with time to recover between each treatment.

After traveling to Cleveland Clinic for a second opinion, I will switch doctors and begin treatments there. They believe, based on the mutations represented in my pathology sample, that I have uterine cancer. They think I’ve had it for a while, even before my hysterectomy. Regardless of how long I’ve had it or how it ended up in my abdomen, they are treating it with a combination of chemo in which they saw success in a clinical trial and continue to see success in patients. They will treat me three times with their recommended treatment and reassess to see if it is creating the desired result. We feel confident that we are in excellent medical care with the doctors at Cleveland Clinic.

I will travel to Cleveland Clinic three times, three weeks apart to receive these treatments.

All the while, I pray for Jesus to completely heal me! He can do this- I am more than confident of his ability. It’s a simple matter for him, really. I don’t understand how he works, but I know he is working. I know thousands of people from all around the globe are crying out to him for my healing. There are moments when I feel so seen and heard by him, and at other times I feel very far away. But this is faith, isn’t it? Believing without seeing…so I will continue praying and trusting and waiting.

I will always say, “My healing’s coming, it’s just a matter of time.”

I believe that. If you’ve prayed for me- thank you. Keep praying! Together we will see Jesus usher in healing! Together we will praise him for his wonder-working power!